Hi, I'm in same situation with you. -armani7(昵称) @圣地亚哥华人论坛:圣地亚哥枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of San Diego

枫下拾英 / 心灵感悟 / help------how do you handle the pressure? -wantcalm(grace); 2004-9-3 {1095} (#1871934@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I got a job recently. I know it is really a precious chance for me, a good chance to move forward as a long term goal. But i got a big problem now. I am getting nervous, nervous, and more nervous day by day. I even cried in the office today, due to the big pressure. My poor English made everything worse. I was a quite out-going person, but now i dare not to speak with those native colleagues. When they are joking in the lunch room, i just sit silently aside, cuz I cannot undertand them all. I feel so depressed, stressful and frustrated. In the meeting, i just can understand half. I know it does take time to adjust it. I keep telling myself "dont worry, be calm, dont put on too much pressure".......But everyday when i get up, i just feel horrible. When i step into the office, my heart is just getting too tight and painful.......I really feel i am gonna broken. ...I cried 3 times in the washroom today. .even cannot eat , cannot fall asleep.... I really dont know if i should stick on it or not...it is such a good chance. But i am afraid i will get some mental problem now....更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

放松，放松。看你写的，英语不错啊。如果是四川朋友，就向专家请教一下本地发音。当年Egg在IBM开会连1/2都听不懂，还自己买了录音笔，把会议录下来回家反复听，现在人家也已经税后10万了。没什么大不了的。慢慢就好了。 -dnc(蛋泥); 2004-9-3 (#1871940@0)

thanks. Everybody told me just relax. I already said it to myself 1000 times. But i just cannot find a concrete way to ease my mind, to comfort myself and to change it. The situation is getting worse. .. -wantcalm(grace); 2004-9-4 {698} (#1872010@0)
I am losing the confidence and getting tight more and more...... I lost 5 pounds in a week, just can get 3 hours sleep one day......I know i am killing myself. I am getting more scared and panic now.........

I envy those people so much, who has a strong spirit, who can face difficulties smilingly... When i had no job here, i didnt get panic, cuz i believe i can get one in future. I think just that hope was supporting me all the time. But now, in front of a good chance, i just got broken down. Cuz i begin to doubt myself.....

I never go to church before, but some friends tell me: u need to seek help from god now....should i? can i really get my heart calm down while doing the pray?

我们类似啊，不过我脸皮厚，对自己要求不严，听不太懂也没关系的，谁还没个适应过程啊，先听吧，再努力表达自己，慢慢来，不着急。 -yuanfei(yuanfei); 2004-9-4 (#1872031@0)

Please help me and tell me how to do that..........To be honest, I do really hope i can be a "hou lian pi" person. That is a way to loose up. But i am so sensitive, so easy to get nervous, -wantcalm(grace); 2004-9-4 {311} (#1872054@0)
and i care the result too much. Many times i even want to quit it, but another self is just saying inside: stoping thinking that....no way! And all the friends beside me say the same words. But if i really cannot find a way out, to let my inner side relax a little bit, i know i will be in a crazy house......

我曾经因为语言问题犯过极大的错误, 好在补救回来. -begin_now(时至今日); 2004-9-4 {578} (#1872082@0)
我当时也在洗手间哭, 可是下班后, 就找朋友多说(祥林嫂就祥林嫂吧,朋友之间就别难为情了), 说一遍, 就好一点. 然后自己也调整自己, 告诉自己就当明天一切从头来, 我要微笑着进办公室,就象我第一天上班. 其实我发觉试用期三个月真的很有道理...只要你自己努力用心, 一般两个月不到就应该成"熟练工"了. 相信自己, 别着急, 刚开始, 谁都有个适应过程, 他们native 的也不例外. 语言问题会慢慢解决的, 我知道自己在不紧张的时候, 听力和表达不是很有问题. 我就有空多找那些特friendly的同事多说话, 渐渐的扩大范围, 后来就越来越好, 除了在老总面前还是有点舌头发硬. ;) 你可以调侃自己嘛, 多跟自己说" 我叫不紧张" :)

lack of sleep can make people upset and moody. 8-hour sleep everyday will give you more confidence and a quicker reaction in communication. believe me, a good sleep does help....... -chachacha(茉莉花); 2004-9-4 (#1872052@0)
no.relax is nothing when you don't have enough confidence. i believe your problem is you don;t collect enough confidence . -silence4u(winagain); 2004-9-4 (#1872088@0)

为什么一定要是四川朋友？“如果是四川朋友，就向专家请教一下本地发音“ -laowang38(老王); 2004-9-4 (#1872152@0)

坚持住! -begin_now(时至今日); 2004-9-4 {321} (#1872033@0)
我刚开始时也是这样, 越紧张越出错...我不只一次对自己说过"打死我明天也不来上班了"...好在遇到的同事比较 nice, 知道偶英语不是很灵光, 在工作问题上就耐心的慢点说, 直到我sure. 自己也要strong, 我有时就用"每天入帐的大银" 来鼓励自己,比较阿Q. ;) 相信自己....心态越好, handle的就越快! 也许不用两个月, 你就 enjoy the job 了. :)
when you get nervous, people can feel it. so dont push yourself too hard. that only makes things worse. if you dont understand what your boss says, just ask. if you dont understand a joke from your colleague, -chachacha(茉莉花); 2004-9-4 {58} (#1872059@0)
just ignore it. you are not hired for small talk anyway...
没有关系的，我刚去公司，我什么也听不懂。所有的任务必须以书面形式向我下达。现在基本他们适应了我浓厚的quebec口音，所以猜都猜得出来我说什么。给你自己一些时间，也给别人一些时间。 -eric2003(finding); 2004-9-4 (#1872185@0)
我也一样，不管听的懂听不懂看着对方表示你在认真听，听不懂适当微笑一下，听懂了插上两句，这里人还是挺有耐心的 -lili2004(lili); 2004-9-4 (#1872270@0)
如果你的英文真的那样糟，你又怎么可能拿到这个工作offer呢。还是多给自己一些时间去学习，去适应吧。即使是native speaker在一个新的环境里也需要时间去适应呢。 -spagetti(hot hot hot); 2004-9-4 (#1872393@0)
具体说说是哪方面的问题。是英语听不懂呢？还是听懂了英语却不明白意思？或是别人不明白你想表达的意思？ -dilbert(UCD); 2004-9-4 {353} (#1872495@0)
如果是第一种情况，不外乎多看电视(带字幕)，甚至录下了反复看，我记得几年前CNN的有些节目还可以在网上下载解说词。如果是第二种情况，多读本地报纸，和邻居同事多聊天，脸皮要厚，不懂就问。第三种情况改进要更困难点，除了多读多听外还要多记多背，肚子里的洋墨水多了，自然就好表达。

既然有工作，花点钱请人教也是个方法。这钱当投资，一般有回报，不会打水飘，别舍不得。
要有信心噢，语言只是一个工具而已，不管问多少遍，听讲清楚就可以了。和这边出生的人比语言是不值得的，他们除了语言比我们好点其实的其他很多地方很蠢的。只要敢说，多说，一定会有变化，我的亲身感受。 -chillyqq(House Decor); 2004-9-5 (#1872511@0)
好像大家一般都有这么一个过程。我觉得背诵一些相应背景的文章对提高听力和口语，尤其是提高自己领域的单词的听觉敏感度很有帮助，不妨试试。 -fatbean(青年发明家:零零发); 2004-9-5 (#1872551@0)
看的出你的英文底子不错, 只不过口语和听力可能还不够, 这一点雇佣你的上司应该早看出来了, 既然雇佣了你, 就说明他们用的是你的才智和专业经验.. -wind999(Wind); 2004-9-5 {190} (#1872573@0)
既然语言不是你的卖点, 你又何必过于紧张? 这样反而不利于你提高口语, 学语言(尤其是口语) 一定要"脸皮厚"点, 大胆说, 错了有什么大不了的? 你行文严瑾, 功底不错, 再放松点, 大胆点, 一定能更上一层楼.
try this: greeting your colleagues you met in the morning with a big smile. you will find it works like opening the door to the English world of the day. -rawmoon(rawmoon); 2004-9-10 (#1879538@0)
妹妹不要紧张，一定要挺住啊。我和你有相同的经历，当时因为我没有挺住而放弃了，现在想来非常后悔。建议坚持上课恶补英文，同时每晚祷告增强信心。记住哦，加拿大是个离神很近的地方…… -jackie-yuer(雨过天青); 2004-9-10 (#1880564@0)
Thanks for all the friends' help. I feel a little bit better in this week, not really cuz any improvement in Language but the encouragement from the all friends here, -wantcalm(grace); 2004-9-11 {205} (#1880635@0)
and the precious peace of mind you bring to me ......I know it is a long way. I am still very nervous and uncomfortable when i am in the office, but at least I can eat and have a better sleep now. Thanks!

我在加拿大工作都三年多了，还不是一样听不懂别人开玩笑！教你几招。 -whatwhenwherewhy(一生何求); 2004-9-11 {359} (#1880741@0)
首先，不要把自己当盘菜，忘记你辉煌的过去，踏踏实实承认自己是颗螺丝钉。
第二。不要害怕寂寞和孤独。不做办公室红人，做一个耐心的倾听者。
第三。寻找英语水平和自己相当的或比较nice的同事，在这些人中建立友谊。你也可以跟这些朋友开怀大笑的。

有时间多想想工作以外的事，比如一百年之后你会在哪？ ivan飓风会使多少jamaca人无家可归？俄罗斯人质遇害的儿童。。。
同感！ -templeliu(小河); 2004-9-13 (#1884632@0)

同感！不过我就算已经挺过来了！请进： -templeliu(小河); 2004-9-13 {2882} (#1884705@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛In the first three months, I got the exact same feeling as you get. Every morning, when I was aproaching the office in my car, I got nervous, I just wanted to misss it. After I parked the car, I didn't want to get out of it! For many many times, I asked myself if I should go back to the plant as a general labour! Fortunately, I am on my way to working out!

I believe there are two major barriers for new immigrants:
(1) Poor English ( Listening is the biggest problem. )
(2) Lack of domain knowledge.

The second one is also a barrier for all the people who find a new job. So, try to concentrate on improving your English listening ability!

I have some experiences to share with you:

(1) Sometimes, it's not your listening problem, it's because your collegue doesn't express clearly. So you have to learn how to CLARIFY! This is very very important! This is how you gain your confidence back! But be efficient when you clarify, don't be afraid to say "what", like: "What is ABC?" or "In what way?"...
Scenarios:
a) your collegue said: "This way is better than the way you mentioned!"
you should say: "what did I mention? and it's better in what way?" ( Don't care about the grammar!)
b) your collegue: "Did you think of sql server replication?"
you: "From where to where?"

Sometimes, you don't understand others, it's not because of your poor listening ability indeed, but because you believe your poor listening ability make you miss it! And you dare to say "Parten me?"

So, next time when you cannot understand others, you should find out the true reason! And forget about saying "Parten me?" and let's say "WHAT?"!

(2) Culture Shock! Actually, I didn't believe culture shock before I got this job.
When my leader asked me questions, he always became impatient, which made me feel so frustrated!

Now I believe I found the reason: I always tried to present a problem, and then a solution, even when I already got a solution. It seems western people don't like this way, they are used to mentioning solution first followed by problem itself!

(3) About small talk, I said you don't understand native people's joke! I believe that's too normal to mention!!! You will be used to it soon! :-)

In my company, the majority is immigrants from Europe, their English is perfect ( as immigrants), but they don't envolve in the jokes. I also noticed some native people also don't like joking around. When they have lunch, they just have lunch!

So, I bet you would get used to the longliness first, and then as your English is improving, you will find everything is under control finally!

SO, TO SUM UP:

(1) Keep watching TV ( I recommand NEWS programm)
(2) Try your best to get the Domain knowledge as fast as possible!
(3) Be ready to enjoy your job!!!!! (*_*)更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

really good points. cann't agree more. It is very important to clarify. -rawmoon(rawmoon); 2004-9-14 (#1885328@0)
Thanks a lot ! -wantcalm(grace); 2004-9-14 (#1885737@0)

Maybe you can get a tutor to help you. -magnolia(magnolia); 2004-9-13 {225} (#1884666@0)
It's normal not understanding jokes - it does take time. If it's hard for you to understand when your manager talk about your assignments, may be a tutor can help you adjust faster. You can check the Star for English tutor.

not a tutor,dude,but a psychiatric counsler -hutuchongca(hutu); 2004-9-22 (#1897413@0)

Hi, I'm in same situation with you. -armani7(昵称); 2004-9-16 {829} (#1889283@0)
My situation:
1. I work in a small company. We don't have lunch room.
2. My office is seperated with other co-workers.
3. All of my co-workers are native Canadian. They speak fast...

It's really frustrated because there is nobody to talk with. Sometimes, they're laughing in another room, I sit my desk siliently. My boss even said:"You are too quiet".. I'm depressed too.

What I suggest & did:
1. Relax, say hi to everyone you meet with a big smile.
2. Be confident. At least, you can do you job very well.
Communication & make friends takes time.
3. In special day (birthday, etc.), treat your co-workers a cup of coffea or some Chinese traditional freshment. Show your kindness.
4. Use English as much as you can in your life. My roomate even speak English with his wife at home.
Keep going, relax....
attitute -hutuchongca(hutu); 2004-9-18 {1025} (#1892203@0)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛when i first started my job here,i always tried not to pick up the phone,listening quietly around canadians,tried talking as less as i could ,old chinese saying :silence is gold.but later on i found myself not happy at work,coz i couldn't really join them,i don't have friends and i do need friends at work to help me out to forgive me for some small mistakes.so i decided to hang out with them to have a beer or to an activity.so i showed my interests to join them and then i found their attitute towards me changed,they started liking me and teasing me and invite me for parties,they tell me that i've changed a lot and they like me.

so don't isolate yourself from them,join them ,show them that you are willing to have fun with them and to learn and work hard,lauguage should not be the biggest bareer between you and they but the attitute,don't give yourself too much pressure,give your best is so enought to have them accept you as a real member.be confident and positive,everything would be a fun .all the best更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

@San Diego

Hi, I'm in same situation with you.

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